My story,

I am a 48-year-old woman of color living with this disease for about 10 years or more now. I’m a mother of two children and a grandmother of two. I was a mother at 16 years of age, and without the help and support I received from my family, the road would have been longer and harder.

I moved to Washington in 1991 and since then BABES, NWFC, Madison, PCAF and STEP have all been part of my family and it has been a rewarding relationship. I have been through a couple of abusive relationships and had no self esteem, but now at this age I am finding it back again. Like they say “its never too late.”

I was with my husband for 23 years before he died in 1996 and it was a great loss. We are still grieving after 3 years. It is so hard to start learning how to take care of yourself after so many years of care giving to others, but I have years of experience to use back on myself. All the negative messages I was getting are no longer the truth of my being. This awful disease within others and myself is a powerful teacher, one that helps us on the road to greater understanding and compassion.

My husband was diagnosed in 1987, and then I went and got tested in 1989. My first 2 tests were negative and then in January of 1990, I received a positive test. It was so devastating and scary the doctor gave me a pamphlet and some literature and sent me on home to face reality alone. I was so scared to talk to anyone. I went into shock and thought no one would want to be near me. I basically stood in the closet until I decided to move to Washington in 1991, which was when I decided to tell my immediate family. I often think of what I put them through telling them something like that, then packing up and just leaving the state and moving across the country. I felt it was something I had to do to save myself. I miss them terribly and it does get lonely sometimes, but I feel that by moving when I did, I prolonged my life.

I’ve been taking Antiretroviral Agents since 1990, from the non-nucleoside to the nucleoside analogues and protease inhibitors, so I have been through all of them except for two. I often feel like a walking chemical factory. I sometimes think and get scared because if I get resistant to the regiment I am on now, I say to myself, “where do I go from here?” I then turn to my higher power and have faith that he will give some scientist the knowledge to come up with something else or even a cure. Besides AIDS, I also suffer from fibromyalgia, osteoarthiritis in my knees and neuropathy. I live with pain every day of my life; it is a part of my daily battle. I again go to my higher power to give me the strength to fight these battles and I know he will not give me anymore than what I am able to accept. The bottom line is I am leaving it all in his hands.

F.A.T.H.E.R.S. Voices

Fathers Association Team for HIV Education & Resource Services An Organization for Fathers affected by HIV/AIDS

Bi-Monthly Support Groups: F.A.T.H.E.R.S. Voices is a forum for fathers affected by HIV to share information, give and receive support, and address issues that they face.

For More Information Contact:
Gary Hudson at
gdhud@netscape.net
or at the BABES’ office, 206-720-5566, ext 17

Remembering Alison...

I have been shedding tears upon tears upon finding out about the loss of one of our dearest and most well loved BABES. Ali... I miss you so much! Waves of water stream down my cheeks and I cannot contain my grief. I feel like shouting my pain to the world! Recently I listened to a recorded broadcast NPR news did on our “sisterhood of women.” I listened to it the day before she drew her last breathes. I see her at our retreats, I hear her deep voice and hear her articulate words describing what it’s like to live with such a horrible illness. I see us smoking outside of SASG, on the porch swing. I remember running my fingers through her hair, dampened by sweat because she was running a high fever. I am enveloped by the sadness that comes with losing you. No! I was not your best of buddies (the run around kind) but we hugged and kissed one another during times of sadness and of happiness. We exchanged sick, morbid jokes that only our group of woman can appreciate. I am forced to go back to the point of when so many of us were dying at once. It feels horrible to be here but so necessary, for living with this disease has taught us so much about loss. As the fall season comes upon us I grasp for the remembrance of spring. As the leaves break away from the branches of my favorite trees I am reminded that the buds are sleeping... waiting to resurface with a renewed sense and hope.

The leaves, before they fall, wave farewell with bright colors and then they fall back into the earth from whence they came. If it were only spring again... then you would be here. But it truly is fall and I thank God for giving us the chance to share many good and not so good times together. After all, life is like the changing of the seasons… is it not? I guess we just have to learn to adjust. I will miss you my friend and I look forward to having many a conversation with you for now I know that when I call, I will not get a busy signal. Loving you and missing you…

Halloween Party!

Don’t miss the BABES Halloween Party!! Where? - At the BABES office, 1001 Broadway, Suite 100. When? - Friday, October 29, from 6 to 9pm. Who Should I Bring? - Yourself and your kids. We’ll have plenty of tricks & treats! RSVP - call 206-720-5566 so we’ll know if you’re coming.

Make a Difference and Save Your Own Life

Did you know that millions of dollars come to King County every year for HIV Care Services and Prevention?

Did you know that BY LAW people living with HIV MUST be involved in deciding how that money is spent?

Here’s what you can do:

• Join the Planning Council (Call Jim J. at 205-5511 for an application)
  
  
• Join a sub-committee of the Planning Council (Jim again: 205-5511)
  
  
• Get involved in Positive Voice Seattle (Jim knows the time & place)

Hold On! Is this all moving too fast for you? Find out more about this stuff from other people who participate: -Deb Hudson: 720-5566, ext. 11 at BABES or 731-2561 at NWFC -Jesse Chipps: 720-5566, ext. 15 at BABES -Gerrie LaQuey: 731-2550 at NWFC -Jim Jorgenson: 205-5511 at the Planning Council

But wait, there’s more! Transportation, childcare and grocery vouchers are available to encourage low-income people with HIV to participate. So, hey, there’s no excuse!

Smoothies

Not only are smoothies fast and easy to make, they are delicious and full of vitamins and minerals.. Since their primary ingredient is usually fruit, they are low in fat, cholesterol and sodium, and high in potassium and fiber - a great way to consume daily requirements of nutrients.

This recipe was given to us by a BABE who said it has really helped with anemia:

Protein Drink
1 tsp. Superpro 96 (soy protein)
1 tsp. Flax seed oil
1 cup yogurt (with active acidophilus cultures)
6 ice cubes
1 banana or 1/2 cup fruit of any kind
Mix all ingredients in a blender.

How to make a perfect smoothie:

1. For the best results, buy ripe, fresh fruit, cut it into pieces at home and store it in a plastic bag in the freezer (it’s best if you don’t store it longer than 2 weeks).
2. Always add ingredients to the blender starting with liquids and ending with solids. Start on low speed to chop and finish on high speed to blend.
3. If your smoothie is too thick, add more liquid, 1/4 cup at a time until you reach the desired consistency.
4. Always have a binder such as regular or frozen yogurt, tofu, buttermilk or fruit nectar.

Use common fruits such as apples, bananas, blackberries, cherries, grapes, oranges, peaches, pears, pineapple, raspberries, and strawberries. Other fruits such as mangoes, papayas, coconuts, passion fruit, kiwis, and guava can often be found pre-cut in the freezer section if you can’t find them fresh.

Bastyr University Natural Health Clinic

Immune Wellness Clinic for Individuals Living with HIV/AIDS

The Bastyr University Natural Health Clinic’s Immune Wellness Clinic (IWC) was established ten years ago as a specialty clinic for people living with HIV/AIDS. The IWC combines naturopathic medicine, acupuncture, Oriental medicine, and nutritional counseling in a supportive environment where patients learn how to complement their existing healthcare regimen. The IWC also promotes lifestyle and dietary modifications and fosters an awareness of the body/mind connection.

At the IWC:

• Clinicians focus on helping patients live well HIV/AIDS by combining the modalities of naturopathy, acupuncture, Oriental medicine and nutrition.
• Clinicians strive to alleviate possible side effects sometimes associated with current anti- retroviral therapies.
• Treatment plans provide comprehensive care and educational counseling that reflect your uniqueness as an individual living with HIV/AIDS. - Patients who live in King County have access to financial assistance through Ryan White funding.
• Group educational counseling is available through the Living in Health and Wellness six- week seminar led by Brad S. Lichtenstein.
• Patients can expect to be heard, to be cared for and to receive access to current complementary and alternative treatments for HIV/AIDS. IWC appointments for Fall, 1999, are available Thursdays 5:15pm to 8:15pm. Please call (206) 834-4100 for more information.

Living in Health and Wellness with HIV
An Exploration in Mindfulness and Self-Understanding with Brad S. Lichtenstein, ND

Tuesday, October 12 through Tuesday, November 16, 6:00 - 8:00 pm in the first floor classroom at the NHC. $150. For all 6 sessions - Ryan White patients are eligible for scholarships. Call (206) 834-4100 to register.

Living in Health and Wellness is an exploration in mindfulness and self-understanding, a journey of learning and increasing awareness. In this seminar you will learn more about yourself and your reactions (mental, emotional, physical and behavioral). That new awareness will help you to make choices in order to live a fuller, happier, and healthier life.

Computer Tip of the Month sent to us by Maria Lindsey... thanks Maria!

One thing that’s always been difficult is to open a document sent from a Mac to a PC machine. The PC will give you the info about "Associate" it with a program which you wish to use, and usually that does not work. Turns out that the reason PCs won’t read the document has nothing to do with "Associate" and everything to do with the fact that Macs don’t use extensions in their file names. So what you do when some Mac user sends you one of their files is: (only do this if you trust the source, of course)

• Save document to "My Documents" or wherever you feel comfortable, "My Documents" is what I use.
• Go to My Computer.
• Fnd My Documents and use the Rename function to rename document, adding the proper extension such as .doc for Word, .xls for Excel, .pub for Publisher.
• Go back to Word or Excel or whatever program and open your document.

It should now open without any problems. Isn’t this cool?!!!