Good can be found in even the worst of situations…

Hi, folks! I’m back with my tale of woe and with this submission I will close that chapter of my life. Just a bit of review… my husband ran off with the lady who lived across the street because my physical looks had become so terrible. As I said, I was suitable only as the bride to the Crypt Keeper.

This lady had left all of her kids. The two younger ones were picked up by their father, but the oldest one was left to fetch for himself. He was 17 years old and had absolutely no place to go. He was left to clean up a horrendous mess in the house they had all lived (the place was fit only for rats). Since we lived so close I offered my home to him. As a result I did manage to get a few very nice items for my house in partial payment for letting him stay with us. The stay ended up being almost a year. His mother had taken all of his savings and had his ocial Security check transferred to an account in California. Plus he had a felony assault charge against him that we had to take care of. Apparently he was so upset about this thing with his mother and my husband that he had tried to cut my husband’s throat. What can I say about that? Ha!!

Well, I went to court with him several times, met with his probation officer many times, got well acquainted with his lawyer, and dealt with Social Security. In the meantime, this kid was so very good to me. He wouldn’t leave my side. I was so ill I really needed 24-hour care. This definitely took a ton of pressure off of my children. They were all so worried and they were finding it difficult to take care of their own business. So having this kid with me was a great consolation to them. This “kid’s” name is Tommy. He deserves to be referred to something besides “kid.” Anyway, Tommy would clean house, do laundry, wash dishes, and take down the trash every day. During the day and night he would sit with me and see to it that my every need was taken care of. He’d make sure I got my meds on schedule, kept my bed changed, and made sure I’d get some Ensure down me. On the bad days he would carry me to the bathroom when I wasn’t able to make it on my down and hold my head as I was throwing up. He tended to me when my fevers would get so bad. When things settled down we would watch TV or chew the fat. When all is said and done he was a Godsend. Now, don’t get me wrong, my children certainly did their part, but I think Tommy took a lot of stress off of all of us. My illness took such a toll on my family and I worried so much about them. By having Tommy there we all felt more comfortable. And what Tommy was doing for me was his way of showing his gratitude for having a place to stay.

As I got better and needed less care, Tommy had more time for himself. I worked on getting him out of trouble and finding a permanent place for him to live. We finally convinced his grandmother that it was all right for him to live with her. His mother abandoned him. She gave up her rights. Then I had to work on the legal system to get the “O.K.” for Tommy to leave the state. His grandmother lives in Florida.

As I was working on these things, I discovered that Tommy was dealing drugs from my home. Well, this just couldn’t work. Things started to get a bit out of control. Then suddenly I got the O.K. from the state to send him to Florida. Whew!! Thank God! Things were falling into place. I was able to take care of my own needs and Tommy had found a home. We got his bus ticket to Grandmas and we prepared for his trip. When the day came for Tommy to leave, I must say it was very difficult to say goodbye. He had come to feel like one of my own children, and he felt I had been more of a mother to him than he had ever known. Out of the blue his stepfather had requested to take him to the bus station and he wanted to take him ALONE. At first I was hurt, but then I’m not good at last minute farewells so I was glad. We shed our tears and said our good-byes at home. I guess this is another example that good can be found in even the worst of situations. I may have lost a husband who wasn’t much good to me anyway, but I gained the love and support of a dear child.

New PTA for BABES

What the Heck is a PTA?

Hello Friends! My name is Eldonna Beal, I am the new Peer Treatment Advocate (PTA) for the BABES network. We will learn together what a Peer Treatment Advocate does, but they tell me that I will get to travel around the state and talk about treatment issues and adherence. I am also going to be available for one on one discussions and on the STEP (Seattle Treatment Education Project) Hotline one afternoon a week. We are not sure if it will be on Tuesday or Friday afternoon but the number is 206-329-4857.

My hours will be split. I will be at STEP on Monday mornings (10-2), Tuesday afternoons (2-6), and Friday all day (11-6). The remainder of my time will be spent at BABES Monday afternoon (2-6), Tuesday mornings (11-2), and Thursdays (10-6). Despite the shuffling, I will have voice mail at BABES, extension 20, I hope you will call or even better stop by and get to know me. I am only somewhat familiar with Seattle. However, HIV/AIDS is not new to me. I was diagnosed HIV+ on July 1, 1985 and have been following the disease ever since. I have lived mostly in WA (currently in Spanaway) but spent the past year in Montana living out what I believed to be a childhood dream. I’m very happy to be back in the real world and working with two great organizations, STEP and BABES. My seven-year-old daughter Amanda is a miracle and the love of my life. Also in my life are my sons, Blue, my first born, a 10 year old black lab and two orange cats, Pumpkin and Tiger.

As your PTA (I put this in only because I really hate abbreviations), I will do my damnedest to find answers to all our treatment questions. That’s my job but I’ll do it best if you tell me what you need to know. So PLEASE call me at either of the BABES numbers (206) 720-5901 or 1-888-292-1912.

Don't be a Turkey During the Holidays!

Remember to practice food safety:

THE HOLIDAYS - a time to celebrate with family and friends and to feast on turkey, stuffing, eggnog and luscious desserts. However, if you ignore food safety practices you may be the turkey. Food safety is very important for people with HIV/AIDS because their decreased immune system puts those individuals at greater risk for getting sick from food poisoning (food borne illness). The food borne illness may be more severe and last longer. Remember that bacteria likes to multiply in warm temperatures (between 40-140 degrees F) and in moist areas. Be careful because you can't smell, see or taste the poison. But the good news is that most cases can be avoided by practicing safe food handling.

Defrosting the Turkey

The easiest way to defrost a turkey is in the refrigerator. Allow one day for each 5 pounds. If time or space is limited you can choose either the cold water method or the microwave.

Cold Water Method

Submerge the wrapped turkey in cold water. Change the water every 30 minutes. Allow one hour for each 2 pounds. If the turkey is defrosted sooner than needed it can be stored for another 1-2 days in the refrigerator.

Microwave

If your microwave is big enough you may use this method to defrost. Remove the wrappings. Place the turkey in a glass baking dish and rotate it top to bottom and end to end during defrosting. Allow approximately 6 minutes per pound on 30% power. Check your owner's manual for power settings. Once it is defrosted, it must go directly from the microwave to the stove because the microwave may bring the turkey to lukewarm temperatures (>40 degrees F).

Preparing the Turkey

To prepare the turkey for roasting, remove the wrappings and pull out the neck and the giblets. Rinse the turkey and cavity with cold running water and pat it dry with paper towels. Place a meat thermometer in the meaty part of the inner thigh.

Preparing the Stuffing

Wait until the turkey is ready to go in the oven. Stuffing left in the turkey overnight may grow bacteria.

Cooking theTurkey

The best way to check if your turkey is properly cooked is to use a meat thermometer. Poptimers are usually reliable however they only check one area. To be sure your turkey is safe to eat, double check it by placing a meat thermometer in several areas of the turkey. Since the turkey has thin and thick areas, the temperature may vary. The turkey is done if the thermometer reads 180 degrees F in the dark meat and 170 degrees in the white meat (breast). Stuffing should reach 165 degrees F.

Leftovers

If turkey and trimmings are left out more than 2 hours harmful bacteria can grow to unsafe levels. All leftovers should be stored in small shallow containers so they can cool quickly. This food should be eaten within 3 to 4 days and gravy within 1 to 2 days. If not, it is important to freeze all unused foods. When wrapping foods in aluminum foil, be sure to seal it tightly. This avoids cross contamination with other items in the refrigerator.

Great Expectations; New HIV Drugs for the 21st Century

A presentation by STEP’s Year 2000 Community Meeting Series

Learn about new drugs being researched, potential effectiveness against drug-resistant strains, and various studies currently underway in Seattle.

Dr. Ann Collier, Director of ACTU, UW, will be speaking.

Date: Tuesday, January 25, 2000
Time: 7:00 - 9:00 P.M.
Location: Miller Community Center, 330 19th Ave East, Seattle WA (Parking lot and free street parking available)

For more information or to register, call 206-329-4857 or toll free at (877) 597-STEP, or e-mail us at STEP100@AOL.COM.

TLC for Your Tree

Dave Moorhead, Ph.D., a professor of forestry at the University of Georgia, offers this advice to extend the life of your tree.

• First, cut at least 1/2” off the base. Put the tree in a bucket of water outside the house. Shake the debris to clear it of debris; hose it down to eliminate dust.
• Once inside, place the tree in a stand that holds at least a gallon of water. Check it at least three times a day for the first few days; refill as needed.
• Keep the tree away from vents, stoves and other heat sources.
• After Christmas, call your local public works office to see if they have a tree recycling program.

Interview Opportunity

If you are HIV+, not a client of either Madison Clinic or part of the HOOP/Wish Project at the Northwest Family Center (clients of NWFC are gladly encouraged to participate, however), then YOU ARE WANTED! Pat Migliore (our board prez.) is going to be conducting interviews on adherence issues for a study she is working on. She would love your help! Plus, you will be reimbursed for your time at $20 to $30 for the initial interview, and $10 for follow-up interviews. What could be better than an hour with Pat and a little extra cash? The interviews will be held at the BABES office, starting right away. Call BABES with any questions or to set up an interview. Thanks!

Do you think of group therapy as a medical treatment?

Each medical service has its own service code, listed in Current Procedural Terminology, published by the American Medical Association. This code simplifies medical reporting and identifying of each service. For instance, group therapy is designated as code 90853. If you are taking off two or three hours at lunchtime for a group session (code 90853), you are legitimately using your sick leave for a medical treatment. So don’t miss a good group session because you think you can’t get time off. If you have to travel a long distance to the session, include that time too. See you there!

Just a reminder, this information is for you. Your boss only needs to know that you are taking time off for a legitimate medical treatment. That’s all.

HoLiDaY HoUrS

The BABES office will be CLOSED on the following days:
Monday, December 20th, for staff training
Friday, December 24th, for Christmas Eve Friday,
December 31st, for New Years Eve
Support group will still be held every Thursday as usual, from 12pm to 2pm, see you there!

Workshops on Using the Female Condom

Co-sponsored by the Northwest Family Center and the HIV/AIDS Program, Public Health - Seattle & King County

When: 11:00 a.m. - 1:00 p.m., Tuesday, Dec. 14, 1999

Where: Northwest Family Center, 3rd Floor, Harborview’s East Clinic Wing (enter at 9th & Alder)

What: the first in a series of two workshops Offering: hands-on information, free transportation, childcare, lunch and incentives!

RSVP & Qs: (206) 731-3066

Learn to Meditate

As we all know, the holidays can be a time of stress as much as they are a time of joy. It is important to pay attention to your body’s signals for extra rest and relaxation. Regular meditation can be very helpful to cope with fatigue, anxiety, and stress. Here is a simple technique developed by Dr, Herbert Benson, excerpted from his book, The Relaxation Response:

How to Bring Forth the Relaxation Response:

• A Quiet Environment Ideally, you should choose a quiet, calm environment with as few distractions as possible. A quiet room is suitable, as is a place of worship. The quiet environment contributes to the effectiveness of the word or phrase by making it easier to eliminate distracting thoughts.
  
  
• A Mental Device To shift the mind from logical, externally oriented thought, there should be a constant stimulus: a sound, word, or phrase repeated silently or aloud; or fixed gazing at an object. Since one of the major difficulties in the elicitation of the Relaxation Response is “mind wandering,” the repetition of the word or phrase is a way to help break the train of distracting thoughts.
  
  
• A Passive Attitude When distracting thoughts occur, they are to be disregarded and attention redirected to the repetition or gazing; you should not worry about how well you are performing the technique, because this may well prevent the Relaxation Response from occurring. Adopt a “let it happen” attitude. The passive attitude is perhaps the most important element in eliciting the Relaxation Response. Distracting thoughts will occur. Do not worry about them. When these thoughts do present themselves and you become aware of them, simply return to the repetition of the mental device. These other thoughts do not mean you are performing the technique incorrectly. They are to be expected.
  
  
• A Comfortable Position A comfortable posture is important so there is no undue muscular tension. Some methods call for a sitting position. A few practitioners use the cross-legged “lotus” position of the Yogi. If you are lying down, there is a tendency to fall asleep. As we have noted previously, the various postures of kneeling, swaying, or sitting in a cross-legged position are believed to have evolved to prevent falling asleep. You should be comfortable and relaxed.

The Friends for Life Society Presents:

Art Empowerment
This class will be held Thursday, December 16, 7:00p.m. - 9:00 p.m., at University of Washington Campus, Communications Building, Room 126. Call (206) 264-5255, fax (206) 374-6330 or e-mail programs@friends-for-life.org to register. This class is available to all with life-challenging illnesses, as well as to family, friends, and caregivers. There is no charge. Expression through art! Come join us for evenings of art empowerment. We will be exploring creative expression with visual and word arts. No experience in the arts are necessary. Discover how therapeutic, energizing, and exciting creative expression can be.

Reiki Healing Circle
This circle will be held Tuesday, December 14, 7:00p.m. - 9:00p.m. at Kang Wen Acupuncture Clinic, 1111 Harvard Ave. Call 425-899-3000, or fax or e-mail Friends for Life to register. Reiki is a powerful system of healing that utilizes specific techniques for restoring and balancing the natural life force energy within the body. It is a holistic, natural, hands-on energy healing system that touches individuals on all levels: body, mind, and spirit. Reiki (pronounced ray-key) is a Japanese word representing Universal Life Energy, the energy that is all around us. It is derived from rei, meaning “transcendental spirit” or “universal” and ki meaning “vital life force energy.” A variety of Reiki Masters will be in attendance. Come and experience the energy of Reiki.